 | Well hello there. You can call me Betty Boob. The "Site Owner" has asked me to hang out here with my pet jaguar, Rex, to warn his visitors that they may not find the humor on these pages funny. |
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You see, he received the following e-mail one day:
"Okay, the journal has been fixed, but it definitely has some questionable content on it. If you’re in touch with the site owner at all can you please ask them to review our Terms of Service so they don’t get their account deleted. Thanks!"
So, I'm here to tell you that this is a site for Humor. Well Duh . . . That's why it is called "Chuckles of Alex's Place". Those of you who recognize this, come on in and enjoy the musings. Feel free to comment. And share some of your own humor.
Those of you who find the content of these pages "questionable", simply leave. You don't have to read them. Nobody is forcing you to come here. There aren't any "pop-ups" appearing on your screen directing you here. There are no other gimmicks to re-direct you here. If you don't like what you see here don't come back!
For those "parents" out there who may not want their children to view these pages, exercise your right . . . no . . . your Duty as a parent to control your children and prevent them from coming here. Do not attempt to control the "site owner". He is not your child. If you cannot exert enough influence over your offspring to guide them to conform to your values, you have our sympathy.
As for Bravenet, delete this account if you must. Then you can count yourself among those religious Zealots who find it necessary to wreak havoc in the world and go on killing and rioting rampages over a comical picture. It will not bother us. We probably spend too much time here anyway.
And finally, to those who feel the need to monitor and control everyone else in the world have a Pizza on us. Just click the Pizza pie to order it.
Turn up your volume and listen for this is where you would have society heading!
| "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let theirdreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. |
A blonde was driving down the street in a panic because she had an
important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward
heaven, she said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place,
I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up sex and
tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
She looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer." The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. Please! Share this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men. For the support group nearest you, just look up Golf Courses" in the phone book. For a video to see how beer works click here: Beer Demo
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