 | Well hello there. You can call me Betty Boob. The "Site Owner" has asked me to hang out here with my pet jaguar, Rex, to warn his visitors that they may not find the humor on these pages funny. |
|
|
You see, he received the following e-mail one day:
"Okay, the journal has been fixed, but it definitely has some questionable content on it. If you’re in touch with the site owner at all can you please ask them to review our Terms of Service so they don’t get their account deleted. Thanks!"
So, I'm here to tell you that this is a site for Humor. Well Duh . . . That's why it is called "Chuckles of Alex's Place". Those of you who recognize this, come on in and enjoy the musings. Feel free to comment. And share some of your own humor.
Those of you who find the content of these pages "questionable", simply leave. You don't have to read them. Nobody is forcing you to come here. There aren't any "pop-ups" appearing on your screen directing you here. There are no other gimmicks to re-direct you here. If you don't like what you see here don't come back!
For those "parents" out there who may not want their children to view these pages, exercise your right . . . no . . . your Duty as a parent to control your children and prevent them from coming here. Do not attempt to control the "site owner". He is not your child. If you cannot exert enough influence over your offspring to guide them to conform to your values, you have our sympathy.
As for Bravenet, delete this account if you must. Then you can count yourself among those religious Zealots who find it necessary to wreak havoc in the world and go on killing and rioting rampages over a comical picture. It will not bother us. We probably spend too much time here anyway.
And finally, to those who feel the need to monitor and control everyone else in the world have a Pizza on us. Just click the Pizza pie to order it.
Turn up your volume and listen for this is where you would have society heading!
FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at
the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed,and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest,
it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering
an entrance examination for everyone.
The test is short, but you have topass it before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It sure is
good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance
exam.
I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.as it was."
St. Peter continued, "Yes, I
know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First:
What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second:
How many seconds are there in a year?
Third:
What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions
over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, andsays, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
tell me your answers"
Forrest replied, "Well, the
first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter "T"?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes opened wide and
he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
for that answer. How about the next one?" asked St. Peter.
"How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about
that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve?
Twelve?
Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve secondsin a year?"
Forrest replied, "Shucks, there's
got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... "
"Hold it," interrupts St.
Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question.Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure," Forrest replied,
"it's Andy."
"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated
and frustrated St Peter.
"Ok, I can understand how you
came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the
world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest
one of all," Forrest replied.
"I learnt it from the song, "ANDYWALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
and said: "Run Forrest, run."
Women are evil by nature
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her
immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer
to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face
with both hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said,
running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender.. "Is there
anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued,
running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him
to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap,
or paper towels in the ladies room."
Bravenet Blog 
Blog Community
Get a Free Blog
Manage your Blog
ewewewewewwwwwwwwwww to # twoooooooooooooo 
bravenet.com